Dad’s turn.

Hello, I have left the documentation of Grant’s life to Grace until now as she is better with details, and knows how to properly write and edit.  I thought I should share my side of this whole saga to give the dad’s perspective on our little story.  Today is a big day in the Johnson house.  Grant has now reached a milestone that we felt was light years away a year ago.  He is ONE!  It feels very weird to say because it feels like yesterday that I raced to the hospital to see Grace before she went in for an emergency C-section.  I remember vividly waiting in an empty room next to the operating room for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was only about twenty minutes, I think, to see if her and the baby were going to be okay.  It was a feeling of worry and helplessness I hope to never feel again.  Spoiler alert, they’re both doing excellent!

It would be best to start from close to the beginning.  The story has been told before, but not all of it.  We found out that Grace was pregnant pretty much as soon as science would allow us to.  Our worry started there as we had lost a baby girl less than a year earlier to what can briefly be explained as normal circumstances.  So our excitement for who would turn out to be Grant was overcome with constant worry that we would have to go through the same situation even though we were assured that it was okay to try again and that was a fluke, but does happen.  Grace’s OBGYN was very aware of our situation and had us come in frequently for check-ups.  I say ‘us’ because I wanted to be there for every step since it was literally the only thing I could do.  The first trimester was definitely the most frightening time in our lives up until that point as we hoped that everything would be okay.  Everything was going great and we got passed the first trimester.  Out of the woods we thought…HA!  Joke was on us.  Like Grace has written previously, things started to get real crazy and the doctor visits became more frequent, and sometimes more spontaneous.  We were constantly reassured through ultrasounds and other tests that the baby was doing excellent.

Fast forward to late August when Grace was 27 weeks pregnant, and I was at a fantasy football draft.  I received a call that I needed to come home and bring her to the hospital.  I know what you’re all thinking…in the middle of a draft??  Don’t worry, I was able to finish the draft via a Smartphone and the help of some friends while we waited for our next steps.  The team sucked, but that seemed like a small price to pay.  They sent us home that night as everything checked out, only to rush back the next morning.  That was the start of Grace’s first stay as an antepartum patient.  She was sent home after a few days, but her time home wasn’t long-lived.  Days later we were back in the antepartum unit for what we thought would be weeks until Grant decided it was time to shine.  Little did we know that those weeks would shrink down to only a few days.

Early on the morning of September 12, 2015, I was awoken by Grace who was about as worried as I’ve ever heard a person in my life.  They were taking the baby, and they were doing it now.  I had to wake Archie up and run every red light to the hospital to try and get there in time to see her before they put her under.  Since it was an emergency, I wasn’t allowed to be in the room, so like I said I was escorted into the next room.  I remember they asked me if I was thirsty and a nurse brought me apple juice.  I remember that because I remember thinking to myself that I hate apple juice, but I drank it out of nervousness.  Every second felt like an eternity as I was left alone with my insane thoughts with godknowswhat going on in the next room.  I did realize in that time of how helpless I actually was to this whole situation.  That was the hardest thing to come to terms with.  Having zero control of a situation that will shape the rest of your life is excruciating and extremely humbling.  It was time to buckle up and trust these complete strangers to keep my family safe.  Something that I promised to be my job.  The time finally came when a nurse rushed in and told me that the baby was out and they were both doing fine, but they were going to rush Grant to the NICU to work on him.  She was about to run back to tend to them when I stopped her because she didn’t tell me the sex.  That’s the moment I knew that we had two boys.

I got to go with Grant to the NICU while Grace went to recovery as she was still out.  Helplessness sat in again when we got to his room and I felt completely in the way of the three nurses who were surrounding his incubator, placing lines, tubes, and monitors on his tiny little body.  I just stood there in a fog watching all of this like television.  None of it felt real.  As this was going on, there was another baby in the room that had doctors surrounding him.  What I quickly realized was if there are nurses surrounding your child, and doctors around another, you are in a far better situation.  As bad as this may sound, I could not stop watching the other baby’s situation.  It got so serious that they pulled the curtains to do a procedure on him and eventually moved us to a quieter room.  Funny story, before that I went to see my mom, dad, and Archie who were in the waiting room.  When I came back they had moved Grant without telling me so I walked into the room and his incubator was gone and not a nurse to be seen.  Needless to say I freaked out until I found someone who shuffled me into that new room.  The rest of the story was very well-documented by Grace in her posts so we’ll move ahead.

Fifty two days later these people let us bring Grant home.  Were they insane?  Bringing Archie home was terrifying enough with no health concerns, but Grant!  No mention of a nurse coming home with us to help us through all of our questions and fears.  Grant literally lived ON us for the next few months.  When I say literally I don’t mean it in that way people loosely use it today.  I mean that one of us was holding him upright around the clock because of his acid reflux.  Thinking back on that time, it was just a blip, but it was part of the circus that we called normal.  Archie took it all in stride as he is a champ.  Our guy.

Today, at one year old, Grant is a healthy, VERY happy, adventurous baby.  He is our miracle baby and we never take for granted (oh god) how fortunate we are that he has completed our family.  Lastly, I want to thank all of our family, friends, and coworkers who did everything they did during this stressful time.  From making/bringing us meals to starting a Gofundme account in our names.  It all meant the world to us and put us forever in your debt.  Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!